Why do they make it so hard?

One Direction is the only band I know where being a fan is like torture. Their team constantly plays up the drama and rumors and gets the fans all spun up. This time it's "Louis is having a baby" drama. Which, the first time I read it, made my mouth gape open because that was just random and out of nowhere. Although not really. They'd been working on this stunt for a few months. Party Louis going out and partying. So when the rumors hit that party girl Briana, who he'd been papped with a time or two was pregnant, chaos erupted. 

But as the story went on, it became clear that this was faker than fake. Ignoring the big old elephant in the room named Larry (Harry Styles + Louis Tomlinson), the girl's story didn't make sense. She was 9, then 10, then 11, then 12 weeks pregnant. She'd had multiple sonograms, which their families supposedly witnessed and heard heartbeats even - two things that are a bit of a stretch given the early stage of pregnancy. You know, like so early normal couples don't even announce they're pregnant because it's so early one they recommend waiting. The whole fact that we were even hearing about the pregnancy was weird, given that celebs especially can hide these things for months and months. No one was paying attention to Briana. She could have gone off and had the baby and none of use would have been the wiser. But, no. They had to publicize it NOW. Must need to sell more tix.

Next came the barrage of family members. We soon knew her family tree better than our own and my inbox kept getting filled with pics of Briana's mom at Playboy parties wearing almost nothing. Both Briana and her mom did EXCLUSIVE pap walks (and I'm sure were paid nicely for it). Daily Mail scooped my tumblr for a screencap of Briana's mom on Baywatch. It was all very surreal. What was also surreal was the lack of "gold digger" or "famewhore" articles, which seemed to be the natural course a sleazy tab would take when you had two people who were "just friends" and not in a relationship and one of them was an unemployed "stylist" with a mother who can't stop posing for the camera and a string of dads and stepdads who couldn't keep Briana's very private privateness private. 

That all changed today with our first article today from In Touch Weekly that portrays her and her family in less than a positive light. It mentioned her money troubles and lack of job, said she didn't have a maternal instinct, and that she basically slept around. I'd be upset with the portrayal but I honestly think it was part of the "stunt package". I'm sure her and her family are being well compensated for this (and their EXCLUSIVE pap strolls). The article also gave us our first mention of DNA testing, which was another highly unusual omission for a celeb baby story. Louis nor his 1D Rep nor any of his family have commented to confirm or deny (another hint to me that this is just a public stunt) and rumor now has it that the UK Press is being asked not to ask Louis' family about babygate. 

I'm hoping this means the end is near. I just want to move past this mess so I can fully enjoy Louis when 1D is in Baltimore. This whole thing has been weird and messy and fans really aren't feeling it. It's sort of tainting Louis and I hate that. I want to enjoy him in all his stunt-free glory in 17 days. 

Let's just put this thing to bed. I'm sure their team has more drama up their sleeve somewhere.  We're all just sitting here ignoring the big gay elephant in the room (except for France, which went off the rails and posted an article saying Harry and Louis are together but hiding it...and Daily Mail Celeb, who went nuts on Twitter and favorited a bunch of Larry stuff.

I can't wait for that day, decades down the line, when this shit is finally done. When we don't have to keep up this charade between performer and fan...where people can be their true selves without worrying about the bottom line. And on that note...here, have some Harry Bottoms. Just because.

Just sitting here watching James cordon giggle.

A photo posted by Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) on

A whole bunch of random

1D fandom if you say anything less than glowing about Zayn's song

1D fandom if you say anything less than glowing about Zayn's song

1D fandom has been crazy as of late. People got so upset at me for saying I think Zayn could do better than these songs he's putting out. Apparently, constructive criticism is not a thing on tumblr LOL. We've also been busy promoting the 1D Fan Art book, which turned out really great! Last night, Harry Styles started following an account called Daddy Issues as well as textsfromyourex, leading people to make posts about Harry being a certified meme enthusiast. Is anyone surprised? The Daddy posts were even better...but I digress. 

My diet has been going awesome! I'm so close to the 150s I can almost taste it! It's so frustrating to be on the cusp for so long, but I'm hoping by this weekend I'll have entered 150s-land. I probably won't get to my ultimate goal by August (mid 130s), but I'll be a lot closer! I've been surprisingly chill this time around and just sort of plugging away doing my thing, which makes it feel like I'm not really on a diet and that's a good thing. If only I could get off my butt and start exercising, we'd really be making some progress! 

My GF and I are starting to make plans for my birthday although my sister's wedding is the day before so that's putting a crimp in our plans. We may go to NYC because it's been entirely too long since I've been there! 

This post is a whole bunch of nothing, but I'll leave you with a picture of Kendall Jenner. I find her one of the most tolerable of all the Kardashians (Caitlyn wins, of course). I just dig the whole look. 

Zayn's New Song...Umm...

So, here's the thing. I wanted Zayn to like blow me away with his solo stuff. He's super talented and if he wants to do R&B, that's a good fit for him. But, I've been so underwhelmed with the two songs he's put out (or leaked...whatever LOL). I just feel like no one is steering this ship. He's mumbling through his lyrics and doing way too many runs. Like where is the person saying - "Hey, we can't understand you. Redo that line" or "Let's save one big run for the end to build the song". Instead, I feel like we've got a kid with aspirations of being a star singing in his basement with his buddies...which is ridiculous because Zayn already IS a star. He's got cash. He's got connections. Why is he wasting it on these half-baked songs that don't show him to his full potential. 

Like everyone is sitting there waiting to see what he'll do as Solo Zayn so when he puts stuff like this out, it's just...embarrassing? Like I get what he's going for but I can't even listen to this song with a straight face when it gets to the "dildo" part. The guy rapping - his flow is just kind of weak? He does good in some parts and just seems off in others. And hearing Zayn singing about "bad bitches is the only thing that I like"? Perrie is about the furthest thing from a "bad bitch" that I can imagine. Unless you consider wearing high-waisted mom jeans bad ass. Even if it's a cover song, that's where everyone's mind is going LOL. I just feel like Zayn has no direction (pun intended). 

Yikes! Michael Clifford from 5SOS Gets Burned by Pyro

ACK! This is painful to watch. Mikey was always my fave in 5SOS so I'm glad he's okay, but that's freakin' scary! 

Hello world. im doing ok :) thanks for worrying!

A photo posted by Michael Clifford 🍆 (@michaelgclifford) on

He asked people not to take his picture and was able to perform last night so I'm glad he's on the mend!

I've Turned into a Juice Hoarder!

My obsession with Suja juice is entering creepy territory. I was planning on stocking up on the Renewal cleanse at Target yesterday but they were all gone! They were on sale and someone snatched em all up!

So this morning I went to the other Target, which is just a bit further away and hooray! They had the Sunrise Probiotic and Sunset Probiotic as well as Sweet Beets and Carrot Crush - all on sale 2/$6. I hesitated for about two seconds before I took every last one of the Probiotics and Sweet Beets. I left the Carrot Crush because I didn't like the date on it. Seriously, Target - get somebody on the expired stuff - I found a herd of month expired Suja juices at the Target near my work and that's not even the first time I've run into expired food there. It's cool that they've added more grocery items, but now you gotta actually maintain it like a grocery store and throw the old stuff out. 

I am in love with the Sunrise Probiotic. It's like a strawberry smoothie - but not too sweet! It's got apple, strawberry, banana, almond, Chia seed, vanilla, and vegan probiotics (which I'm all about since I just got off antibiotics). These juices just make me happy. I can't explain it. I think I'm on a fruit and veggie high! 

Since I'm doing the Renewal cleanse, you add three small meals a day. I just bought the Suja juice book, too, so I had tons of good options. The recipes are super simple (although I hate the way the meal plan/recipes are laid out). 

I made a spring mix salad with raspberries, feta cheese, pumpkin seeds, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper, and a drizzle of olive oil. It was so tasty! I skipped breakfast so I'll probably have an apple with almond butter later as a snack and then I'm having lentils with guacamole and tomatoes for dinner with my Sunset Probiotic. The Midday Thrive that you're supposed to have midday was not at Target so I'll probably just have the carrot or berry juice tonight. The Berry Goodness is one of my favorites!

Overall, I'm still feeling positive about my weight loss. My weight was up a pound or so this morning, but I think my TOM is coming any day now (either that or the unfortunate corn tortilla binge I had last night!). I'm on track to hit the 150s by July and hopefully the 140s by August and then goal by September-ish. 

This should be a nice, calm weekend so I'm just gonna chill and drink my juice! 

This post contains affiliate links, which means if you buy something from one of these links, I'm gonna hoard more juice!

WTF Am I Eating?

It's like 90 degrees today and I'm scarfing down broccoli cheese soup like it's the dead of winter. 

I'm not even going to get into the Gouda quesadillas I made as Part 2 of my dinner. Who knew Gouda tastes so good melted in a corn tortilla! I totally messed up my eating plan the last two days so I'm hoping I can make it up over the weekend. It's going to be tough to make it to my original goal by August (30 pounds less than I weigh now).

Suja juice is on sale at Target so, of course, it's completely sold out. I'm going to be making an early morning run to the further away Target in hopes the fellow Suja juice lovers haven't ransacked that one as well.

In other news, this was one of the possible weekends I was going to go to NYC, but didn't and of course Harry Styles is in NYC, and wasn't that far from where I usually stay today. FML. Here's some video from last night.

I'm Sensing a Pattern Here - Scruff and Shag

I don't often find men hot, but when I do, they seem to be of the brunette shaggy scruffy variety. Ian Somerhalder and Norman Reedus were both at the CMT Music Awards last night and the hotness quotient went up 500%. I just threw in a pic of Louis Tomlinson at the bottom because...Louis. He's like Norman's baby brother. And there's never a wrong time for a Louis picture.

Who Wore It Better: Harry Styles or Charlie Brown?

You're a good man, Charlie Brown, but Harry Styles beats you in the hair department every time. (Someone should give Charlie some Rogaine. He's like in elementary school and he's already bald!). Harry also wins for sassying up his geometric print shirt with a black scarf (or little strip of fabric made out of the hair of a jet-black unicorn or whatever the F that is). 

If You Ever Need A Giggle, Just Remember This Pic Exists

Objects in Topman may be larger than they appear. I'm so late to this party. Two of the guy in the middle's faces could fit in one Harry face. I know fans were calling him Shrunken Head Guy and now I see why. He's tinier than Louis.

And Twinsies!

And some 1D at the Capital FM Summertime Ball (but really just posting for the Louis). I'm just now noticing Niall is surprisingly hairy-chested.

How very dare you! Louis' shirt shows what happens to my head every time I get a Louis HQ pic.

Stoppppppppp!

Me right now (even though these pics are a week old):

Look out Sweet Brown and Antoine Dodson! Here comes Courtney Barnes!

First, we got Antoine Dodson, giving us the play by play of an intruder (hide yo kids, hide yo wife!):

Then we got Sweet Brown's recap of a fire (and her bronchitis). 

And now 2015 brings us Courtney Barnes, who is like a My Little Pony in human form (and possibly the most polite and colorful person ever interviewed about a car accident ever). Courtney witnessed a high speed police chase which ended when the police man spun out of control and hit a telephone pole - thus ruining Courtney's trip to Burger King to get "a piece of burger".  I expect gifs to be forthcoming of:

"The police tried to do a stop and the man said no not today"

“Girl, he hit the pole! His head went to one side, his body went to the other side, and this is the result. Lord be with this young man! He need a blessing.”

“Well, ma’am, I was actually going to buy a piece of burger from Burger King!”

“It was a full twist-about, and the police car just twist around like a tornado, girl!”

“This police officer doesn’t know if his life is going to continue to make it, or he gonna just tap out.”

Someone needs to hire Courtney Barnes to report on all the breaking news - it would make the news 1000000% less boring! 

It's a Long Shot! Please read!

Me if this crazy idea actually works!

Me if this crazy idea actually works!

So, Lynn (ellemem) is bidding on the San Diego Meet and Greet for 3 people being auctioned off by Eden Dora. The goal (if won) was to have Lynn (Project No Control), Kat/Edwin or Malin (TMHFN/Rainbow Direction), and myself (1D Fans Give) as the 3 people to attend the meet and greet to have representation from the big fan efforts that have made a difference to 1D/Fandom. 

However, bidding is already up to $4500+ and will probably go too high for us to manage by Sunday. This is completely a long shot and please don’t feel pressure to donate, but if people threw in a buck or two, we might be able to win this thing! 

If we don’t win, I will donate any money raised to Louis’ bday drive for Eden Dora so Eden Dora wins either way (I will also offer refunds to people if they would prefer that). 

If we did by some chance win, any money over the amount of the winning bid will be donated to Eden Dora for Louis’ drive. The auction ends Sunday night so we need to raise as much as we can between now and Sunday morning so we know how high we can bid.

The meet and greet is the day before my birthday so I’m secretly rooting for this to work - meeting Louis (and all the guys) would be a great bday present! 

Again, I want to stress -please don’t feel pressure to donate! This is a complete long shot and if this all worked out, it would be some sort of miracle, but it’s too good of a chance to pass up. It’s another one of my harebrained ideas so worst case, we raise some money for Eden Dora!  

Here’s the link should you wish to donate:

I'm back!

(Source: harryniips)

(Source: harryniips)

While I was auctioning off this site, I've been blogging on other sites, but after the auction fell through (still mad at the dude who won and didn't pay!), I'm back! None of my other "identities" every felt like me so it's back to my roots!

This is probably going to be a big hodgepodge of my life, my diet, One Direction stuff, my animals, and whatever else tickles my fancy. I'll probably bitch about The Bachelorette and all the shows I'm currently watching (Aquarius, Wayward Pines, Hannibal, Game of Thrones, etc.), too!

So, welcome back everyone! Grab some candy and stick around for awhile. I swear I'm not going to change my name AGAIN!

Is this cold ever going to end?

Why do summer colds seem to last forever? It's really only been 4 days (and I felt really good over the weekend). I ran out of the good Sudafed (the one you gotta sign for) so I had to make an emergency trip to CVS to get more because that other over-the-counter one just sucks. 

I'm in desperate times...my dog just drank out of my coffee while I was throwing away a Ziploc bag she found and was tearing to bits. I shrugged and kept drinking the coffee. I've already got a cold - what's a few more dog germs! 

In my Suja juice series on Instagram, I've added Fuel to the collection. It has a really good flavor! I'm like a broken record - but it's another favorite. 

Another favorite! I love the flavor! #suja #sujajuice #juice #healthy #diet

A photo posted by Amy Wants... (@amywants) on

More Suja Juice!

Every time I try a new Suja juice, I'm like "this is my favorite" but then I try another one and I'm like "No, this is my favorite"!

I've yet to have one that I hate. I went to Whole Foods at the crack of dawn (more like 9am) to stock up because that place becomes an insane suburban zoo if you go too late and I hit the Mother Lode of Suja juices. They have the big ones including Vanilla Cloud (which looks sort of gross but supposedly is really good) so expect more Suja juice posts. 

Another new fave #suja #sujajuice #carrotjuice #juice #diet #healthy

A photo posted by Amy Wants... (@amywants) on

Yesterday, I had Carrot Crush, which was amazing. It contains carrot, apple, orange, lime, and ginger. 

I had Berry Goodness at night, which had a great texture and wasn't too sweet (I actually don't like a lot of fruit because it's too sweet for me), but this was perfect and refreshing! It contains apple, purified water, banana, blueberry, strawberry, orange, blackberry, lemon, and chia.

I may be slightly obsessed. #suja #sujajuice #juice #healthy #diet

A photo posted by Amy Wants... (@amywants) on

This morning, I tried Reef, which really is one of my faves. It contains apple, celery, cucumber, kale, collard greens, lemon, ginger, and spinach. It's the perfect balance of green and lemon. It's one of the big bottles ($7.99 at WF) so I'm saving the other half for later! 

Right now, this is Suja Juice to me:

Suja Juice - My New Favorite

Suja uber greens. I'm a new fan! Gonna stock up and try more of these! #suja #juice #greenjuice

A photo posted by Amy Wants... (@amywants) on

I've been testing out bottled juices lately and I got Suja's Uber Greens today because I picked up a summer cold at work (thanks a lot germy coworkers) and I'm fighting it off with juice and soup. It's really good! I like vegetable juices, especially when they've got a bit of lemon in them so I was really digging this one.  

It has cucumber, celery, grapefruit, green chard, green leaf lettuce, lemon, kale, spinach, parsley, peppermint tea & spearmint tea. I didn't really taste the tea, but then again, I was a bit of a hot mess this morning. I felt a lot better after drinking a bottle of this so maybe it's full of magic. I'm actually considering doing one of the Fresh Start all juice days! 

This post contains affiliate links, which means if you buy something, I'm just gonna buy more Suja juice to counteract the effect of years of nacho abuse! 

Baja Blast in Walmart

Baja blast in walmart. This is dangerous. My weaknesses #mountaindew #bajablast #soda #drinks #walmart

A photo posted by Amy Wants... (@amywants) on

The apocalypse is here y'all. Baja Blast, once only available at Taco Bell, is in Walmart.

I don't often go to Walmart because it's full of Walmart people, so I'm not sure how long this addictively suntan lotion tasting drink has been available in stores, but I've so far managed to restrain myself from actually buying it. It's blue, it's tasty, it probably jacks you all up because it's Mountain Dew...what more can you want from a soda!

Fashion Roundup: Sleeveless for Summer

Sleeveless

Alexander McQueen top
$235 - profilefashion.com

Vans red top
pacsun.com

Converse black shirt
$32 - zalando.co.uk

BLQ BASIQ wool blend coat
revolveclothing.com

Balmain clothing
$750 - shopmrsh.com

Now that the weather is getting warmer, it's time to ditch the sleeves and show off dem biceps!

Yes, like that, Lou. I lean towards sleeveless tees and plaid and denim vests. On the affordable side are shirts by Vans and Converse, but if you got the bills, check out these options from Alexander McQueen and Balmain.

Stop the Presses! Chipotle is Delivering!

OMG OMG Chipotle is delivering...

...in certain markets.

Sadly, Northern Virginia is not one of those markets. Also, sadly, delivery is like $11 or something cray cray. That's like a whole other burrito bowl...but desperate times call for desperate measures. There have been times when I gladly would have forked over a Benjamin for a Chipotle Burrito Bowl. Chipotle is doing a deal with delivery-service Postmates to get a burrito into yo hands without ever leaving the comfort of your weed and Cheeto-infested home. 

Delivery is in 60 minutes or less (which is sort of slow as fuck, I could walk to Chipotle and back in that amount of time) and available in 67 markets, so most of you are shit out of luck. But New Yorkers rejoice because there are 29 Chipotle chains available for delivery.

My Aesthetic: Harry Styles with French Fries Up His Nose

You know you are in too deep when you see a picture of Harry Styles with french fries (chips for you Brits) up his nose and you go, "awwww, how cute!" Rita Ora posted this throwback snap. Thanks, Rita!